Author: Leni
No More Waiting DISCLAIMER: Yeah, they are mine... any problem with it?? DISTRIBUTION: All yours. Just tell me. SUMMARY: When the line between friendship and love disappears... AU-fic. AN: Some sort of therapy for me: Wishful Thinking. Hope you'll enjoy it. RATING: PG-13... I think. ^_^;; FEEDBACK: Do I need to beg??? DEDICATION: For my best friend and his girlfriend. May this story stay in the paper and my imagination... as much as I don't want it to... *sigh*
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I've already decided it. There is no more waiting now. Tonight will be his last free night. So what if he had been my best friend for years? I.Want.Him.
Maybe you don't understand my situation. It's no wonder since you know nothing about it. I'm Buffy: a nice, playful and sometimes strange girl: Your typical college girl. And he is Angel, a handsome, irresponsible and terribly nice guy, the one I'm getting tonight. Please don't think I'm exaggerating. I really love the guy. I've already tried to blame my hormones, my family-problems, even my ex for this... but it insists of staying here. Now, normally I would just go for the chase: a 'casual' meeting in a neutral place, some coffee, some dancing and finally some make-out sessions. Nothing I haven't done before.
But this time it's different. Angel may be your average Don Juan but he is nothing average for me. He has been my *best friend* for many years. You know, the one I speak about *everything* with, the one who even told me about his first time - though I still firmly believe that there are some things no *girl* friend should know... But I'm digressing. The fact is: he is my best friend and I'm crazy for him. And don't think this is just some silly crush: IT_IS_NOT. As I've said I already tried to convince myself of it. It didn't work. So I guess I'm really in love with him.
This whole craziness started some months ago, some time after Darla appeared in our lives. Who is Darla, you ask? Well, let's just say that I wouldn't impose her presence on my worst enemy. And that's not because she's Angel's girlfriend. Nope, definitely not that. Even before they got together, when she was still the new student in our class, I didn't like her. Far too bitchy and conceited. But of course, my friend thought that her shapely form did compensate for all her faults. Men!
I was shocked when I found out that they were going out. Not because they were doing it, you mind, but because Angel hadn't told me a word about it. Of course, the fact that I've told him exactly what I thought about the girl may have influenced his decision... But well, after the rough start Darla and I began to become friends... No we didn't. Whom am I trying to kid? The girl hated my guts and I felt the same for her! But we had to act at least politely when we were together. All for Angel's sake. 'Cause, obviously, the oblivious man didn't have a clue about the 'friendly' situation between his girlfriend and his best friend.
Now, the problem was not if Angel had a girlfriend or not. After all, in all these years I've seen more girls in his life than I care to count. But each one of them had always respected my position in his life, even if a bit grudgingly. Not even the ones that lasted only a weekend dared to defy me... and the same went between my boyfriends and him. We never gave the other's pair a reason to be jealous; but at the same time we never were apart. Now that was a promise we made in sophomore year: No matter girlfriends or boyfriends we would always be together. Life was perfect: I would always be there for him when he suffered one of his guilt-trips (He treated girls like trash and then felt bad about it.) and he would drag me to any party if I was moping over a guy. Yup, life was certainly perfect. Now I realise that maybe, just maybe, I had been in love with him since then but I just never felt the need to call it 'Love'; after all, if you *are* *sure* someone will be always there you don't need to claim him as your own.
Don't you think?
It was because of that sureness that my whole world crumpled down that Thursday. Now I have to say that Angel and I don't have many 'best friends' traditions'. His family would come to my house on Christmas and we would crash by them on New Year's Eve, but that was nearly all. In the course of the year, however, we spent a free night every two Thursdays together. Just he and I. Frequently it was in his home 'cause he had the biggest TV set I've ever seen and his music system was certainly enviable. The whole thing started years ago as study-sessions. We would read our notes till our heads ached and then have some pizza or popcorn with a relaxing film. After finishing school we managed to maintain those meetings and even in college we rarely called them off. That's why I had a bad feeling when my phone started to ring on that Thursday's midday.
"Buff?" I often wonder if he knows what my real name is. He is the only one who ever calls me *that* and gets away with it. "Look. I'm *very* sorry but I can't come by today. Is it okay with you?" I opened my mouth to ask for a reason. After all I had already prepared some dishes for us and rented the films. By the way, did I mention that Angel just loves my cooking? Once he told me he would like his wife to have my skills in the kitchen. Of course he turned beet-red after saying it. Sigh. I put him out of his misery by telling him I'd gladly teach her... As if!... but I'm digressing again. As I was saying I was about to ask him when a feminine giggle reached my earshot. I froze. The giggle grew louder and I found myself picturing a nasty scene which involved a scantily dressed Darla... *shudders*
"Yeah... it's okay." I tried to sweeten my voice. It didn't work. Damn! "By the way, where are you now, Angelus?" If he didn't know I was mad he knew it now. I used 'Angelus' as rarely as he used 'Buffy'.
"I'm home right now," he answered, " but I still have some pending business. It'll be late when I'm finished. Can we postpone it for next week?"
'Postpone it? 'Pending business'?! You bastard! You promised no girlfriend would separate us!...' I was about to say that when I realised the absurdity of it. He was with his girlfriend, for God's sake! As much as I disliked the girl I had no right to interfere.
"Yeah, of course. Next week. Bye, Angelus."
"Bye Buff. I'll call you later!" But even as he said the words I knew he wasn't going to call today and probably wouldn't till he remembered there were other girls outside Darla. Such as me...
I buried my face in my hands. Darla's laugh presented itself in my mind and I could picture her in my best friend's arms on the same bed we had used many times for a nap or just for chatting a while. Sigh. I realised for the first time that whatever I had had with Angel for all those years I was losing it.
I know well what you're thinking; and I wonder if you can too. Can you guess my feelings? What about my dreams?
So just tell me: Can you stay in mine? May I be in yours?
-ME-
Now, I'm normally not a possessive person, you know. Not even my boyfriends can say I watched them too much. I myself hate it when feeling watched. That's why the change in my behaviour surprised myself. I began to call Angel hours on end, sometimes until I was too sleepy to carry on a conversation, or to scowl inwardly every time Darla appeared with her toothy smile and fake green eyes to snatch him away. Internally I knew I was being childish and selfish. Angel could and would choose Darla over me. She was his girlfriend and I only was his *very* old, *very* good friend... Shit! I was his damn *best* friend and I wanted him! Was it so bad?
But he didn't know that. He only knew that this was the most serious relationship he'd ever had. In fact, before I realised it they were having their six-month anniversary. Of course, it *just* had to be on one of our Thursdays. Just my luck. He gave her a golden chain with matching pendants. They were simply beautiful, the same I had seen on his night table for weeks. I had secretly hoped they were my birthday present for the next week. It was not meant to be. Instead he gave me the CD I had been wanting for some time. Before I could thank him he mentioned how much fun he and Darla had had picking a present for me. I thanked them both and resisted the urge to throw my new CD into the trash. Fortunately, my love for Alanis M. won.
I finally conceded defeat a month after my birthday. One entire month with just quick calls and even quicker chats at college. I began to feel like an intruder when being with my own best friend and Darla enjoyed it. The bitch actually managed to prepare something irresistible for him each Thursday, I heard she even learned to cook. Shit! Of course, Angel was as oblivious as always.
I didn't gave up just because I wasn't talking to him, you know; I had spent entire summers without him when my family went to the country to relax. No, lack of words wasn't the problem. Lack of communication was. Now you'll say it's all the same thing. I assure you: It's not. You don't need talking to know how someone is doing, especially a *best-friend*. So, when Angel asked me where Riley was I only stared at him dumbfounded. Riley was a guy I had been going out with. I broke up with him two weeks after the first 'Thursday-incident'. As nice as he was, the poor guy didn't deserve my brooding around. That had been three MONTHS ago. The fact that my supposed 'best friend' didn't know what even the cafeteria crew did know really stung.
He must have heard the slight bitterness in my response because he was extremely attentive with me for the rest of the week. But on Thursday it was me who called him to cancel our meeting.
"No prob, Buff." You won't believe how much I missed that nickname! "Maybe we'll have time next week."
"Yeah, next week it is." I said trying to copy his falsely cheerful voice. This time he knew as well as I what was really happening.
That day I ate slowly the lasagne I would have cooked for us instead of myself alone. Lasagne had been his favourite dish since I met him. I learned to do it because of that. This plate was the one that earned the 'wife-comment'. Sigh. The rest of the evening I just wondered why the hell did Darla have to appear if I had been always there.
Friends, such a sweet word...
You tell me all your secrets and of course I'm always glad. You tell me we are good friends and then I get so mad.
You are always at my side. I thank you. You don't know you should be mine. I hate you.
Friends, such a sweet word, such a sweet death...
-ME-
That was six months ago. Give or take one year since Darla appeared in our lives. Angel and I still maintain long phone-talks but something isn't 'on' anymore. I didn't even tell him about the new guy I had been with for a short time and he didn't ask. In short, the only things worth mentioning are Angel's and Darla's break up and my decision to win him for myself.
What?! You didn't really think a college affair would last that much, did you? Especially when you know what a conceited bitch-y person Darla really is. Did I mention that she was a bit on the slutty part also? At first I didn't believe the rumours. True, I didn't like the girl; but not that much. But after the Jefferson's party some weeks ago nobody could deny the truth. To keep the story short let's just say that she drank too much spiked punch and ended up straddling and pawing the wrong guy, not that he was complaining much... but well, in front of the spectacle Angel had to acknowledge the situation and break it off with her.
My best friend was in front of my porch two nights later. You could smell the alcohol on him from meters away. I hadn't seen him that drunk since high school and I hadn't thought I would do it again. Damn that bitch to Hell! I let him rant and rave all he wanted in my room and then let him weep on my shoulder. Just as it had always been. Only this time it wasn't because of some misplaced guilt but because of a broken heart and ego. Cradling him and murmuring the same reassuring words as always I let myself accept that my Angel had been really in love with the girl. Done that I felt strong enough to close the 'Darla's episode' in both our lives. When I told him so he smiled. *Really* smiled. As he hadn't done for a long time. Not for me anyway. In that moment I knew he was *my* friend again and I was glad. Call me selfish if you want, I've called myself worse things.
Next morning I was in the shower when it struck me that Angel had been there last night. At the same time I understood that he had left without me noticing it. I remembered thoughtfully last year's occurrences while in the shower and I concluded that I could be as good girlfriend as any of the girls Angel would meet now. But I also knew he was now on the rebound and whichever girl he chose would deserve my pity and benevolence, as it had always been until Darla. At the time I was pretty tempted of putting a large poster saying 'BEWARE GIRLS: Angelus O'Connor Is On The Rebound!'. Many of my college friends always wondered how could I be such a good friend of the worst 'womaniser' on campus, especially being a woman myself. They certainly didn't know him in school.
Hmm... would you mind if I retreated some years into the past? Glad to know you don't. Well, I met Angel when he still was a shy guy, whom no self-respecting girl cared for in *that* sense. I myself only considered him a friend. He was my 'best friend' but still only a friend.
Two years later, out of the blue, a completely strange girl invited me to her birthday party. I thought she was being just friendly. Next week it was another girl trying to sit at my side in all classes and yet another passing me her sacred Chemistry-notes. (AN: Hey! They are sacred for me!) I became suspicious after seeing one of them paying for my lunch in the cafeteria... Had the whole school gone into some kind of 'nice-stage' and I wasn't informed? It was freaky! It wasn't that I wasn't popular, you know, I had my good share of friends outside Angel. But I never was *that* popular.
It didn't took nor a genius neither much time to figure out what was happening: Every disposable female was looking for a date with *my* best friend. At first I couldn't fathom why. Hell, I was the guy's best friend and I *knew* he wasn't that good. He was tacky, irreverent, irresponsible, sometimes annoying, and the list could go on forever.
So I asked one of the girls. She stared me like I was some kind of freak and just said: "Have you *really* seen him?" I did and I noticed the change he had gone through in those months and... God, what a change! Those soccer practices had really done their job! But then I was on a steady relationship with a really nice guy and were those real muscles? and steady was good and cheating was bad, *really* bad, and had all those drooling girls nothing better to do? and cheating your boyfriend with your best friend could degenerate into a bad reputation and my guy was *really* nice and he said he loved me and Angel just said he loved my lasagne... Sigh... Nice guy won... and I forgot everything about those crazy thoughts till Darla appeared in our lives. But well, I'm digressing *again*. To end with the retrospective let's just say that I took pity on some of the girls and presented Angel to them. In less than two months they had transformed my nice shy friend into someone I didn't recognise but accepted anyway: After all Angel would always be my best friend... until I decided he just would be mine.
But I was telling you that he was on the rebound. Sure enough, before a week I was formally presented to Willow, a lovely girl with nothing in common with Darla. By the next weekend I had already met Cordelia and Jheira and for the next month I met so many girls that I still feel as if there's an 'Angel's Rebound Girl' everywhere I turn. If anything, this whole mess served me to get a whole bunch of new 'friends'. Soon enough I had recovered my status in Angel's life. We phoned each other regularly and met each second Thursday at his home. His girls were wary and resented my position a bit but, as always, I was quick in gaining their trust. As I said, being Angel's girlfriend at that point deserved more pity than anything.
And now, *at last*, Angel seems to be cooling off. The last girl he was with lasted three whole weeks and from what he told me last Thursday he is searching Mrs. Right again. May as well begin my plans tonight at Cordelia's party: a 'casual' meeting in neutral place, some coffee, some dancing and finally some make-out sessions. What I should have done since the beginning...
Please, wish me luck for tonight. I certainly will need it.
Today I wanna play. So come here. Let's have some fun. Are you scared? Worried maybe? I promise I'll be a good girl. Have I ever lied to you?
You know well who I am: Your little friend, the nicest one. Now you'll only have to guess why am I here, looking for fun.
Don't be so shy, I know you aren't Don't say a word; it has no use. I wanna kiss you, have fun together I wanna play and be with you. -ME-
Tonight DISCLAIMER: The first version of 'NMW' was out in May and IS all MINE. However, the characters of the BTVS-adapted one and of this sequel are all Joss'. Yeah, I truly pity them, too. DISTRIBUTION: Well, if you really want this who am I to dissuade you? Just tell me where it is going. SUMMARY: When getting the guy of your dreams isn't as easy as you first thought... AN: This goes for all the people who asked for a sequel. You can't believe how happy you made me. Hope you'll enjoy this one. Oh! And for all the Riley-, Kate-haters out there I've added some bashing here. Nothing serious, though. I'm sorry. RATING: PG-13... if even that... FEEDBACK: PLEASE!! Do I need to beg??? I promise to answer you.
Today I wanna play. So come here. Let's have some fun. Are you scared? Worried maybe? I promise I'll be a good girl. Have I ever lied to you?
You know well who I am: Your little friend, the nicest one. Now you'll only have to guess why am I here, looking for fun.
Don't be so shy, I know you aren't Don't say a word; it has no use. I wanna kiss you, have fun together I wanna play and be with you. -ME-
You know? Some things are easier said than done... You remember me saying that I was going to get my guy tonight? I meant it. I really did. I just hadn't counted with the jelly-like kidneys and sweating hands and the fact that he is not alone... No good.
Sigh.
He is over there. Dressed in those tight leather pants that would make me drool if I wasn't so accustomed to the view and well, if you are the one to tell a guy to buy leather pants and actually go shopping for them with him... where's the fun? In seeing him model pair after pair of black, nice, *tight* pants, of course! Let's say that it was a yummy experience. So maybe I wasn't in love with him at the time but I had eyes, didn't I? And they saw pretty, yummy things that afternoon... Maybe we should go into another shopping spree. I just know that he is in need of a bathing suit... and so I am. Oops, I'm digressing. Sorry, I always end up doing it.
So he is over there. Talking with some of his friends and with a stunning blonde at his side. I am blonde too, you know? Well, ok, I am not. But anybody who didn't know that little detail wouldn't be the wiser... and it is not as if his new companion were a real blonde, either. At least I know that my roots don't show... Doyle is the one to see me first. He has been friends with Angel for some months by now. I truly like that guy; he is nice, sweet and deserves far more than Cordelia Chase. But love is blind, I guess. Just as blind as my best friend is being right now.
So Doyle is waving at me and then I'm walking towards this small group of fraternity-boys with nothing in their brains but the best way to screw the easiest girl in the room. Not me, of course. They all know that Angel would have their heads if they did as much as touching me without my consent or me being completely sober... Angel has always been a little over-protective. A reason more to love the guy...
*smile*
I greet every one of them and Angel presents me the blonde as Kate. I don't know but I'm beginning to see a patron here: Blonde hair. Green eyes. First Darla, then Harmony and Michelle, now this Kate... how come he doesn't notice that *I* fit in this peculiar patron of his, too?? Should I walk with a sign saying 'Notice Me. I'm Blonde and Green-eyed and your Best Friend."? Uhm... maybe if I leave out the last part... Oops, Angel is asking about my little sister. Little brat that she is, always 'borrowing' my lipsticks and then losing them God knows where. He just laughs at my antics. Yeah, of course he will laugh. He loves Dawnie as his little sister and since he lost his own he never stops consenting her. Lucky Dawn. She gets the bonbons and the toys - no, no toys anymore - and the surprise every couple of weeks and I just get Thursdays and heavy sessions of 'Please Tell Why My Relationships Won't Work, Buff.'... Should I be jealous?
Now Kate is the one speaking. Hey! The Barbie Doll comes with battery included! And no, that's not what I am thinking but what Gunn's and Doyle's and Lindsey's faces clearly reflect. Meanwhile Angel seems to be happy with a beer in one hand and the girl in the other. One look at him and I know he is bored out of his mind. Of course, Kate doesn't notice it, she is just smiling broadly waiting for me to greet her or chat with her or congratulate her for snatching my best friend away... Sorry, girl, not exactly what I have in mind. I was planning on commenting that your mouth does that funny thing that ends in a toothy smile and that your green eyes seem to be just contacts... I could be wrong, of course, it could be just a trick of the light or maybe I'm a little bit jealous. But no more than a little bit, I swear.
A voice at my side stops my thoughts. I recognize it instantly. What is he doing here?
"Xander?"
Oh man! I haven't seen this guy for YEARS... he left one day saying he would look for a life while traveling through the country and hasn't been seen in Sunnydale since then.
He smiles at me and I can almost feel the frown on Angel's face. They never liked each other. Only God can guess why. It might have something to do with the fact that Xander had that huge crush on me in high school and that even then I preferred to pass time with my best friend. Who would know that Xander would ever have a real motive to be jealous? Not that it would matter now. Those things are long past and now we are just good friends. Xander forgot all about me the day he met a lovely redhead. Willow was her name. I met her again some months ago when Angel was still dating every girl who crossed his path. Nice girl. Really cute. I still talk with her sometimes, even if now we have to use the Internet since after the break-up she decided to go study to L.A. Last thing I heard of her she had met an old flame again. And it was not Xander. It was a starting musician. Oz something... or was it something Oz? Who knows? Musicians are always so strange...
I stop my inner ramblings when I notice Xander staring at me. As always, I turn to Angel for help. He is already accustomed to me spacing off and always helps me to avoid potential embarrassing moments such as this one. He looks at me in amusement and I know this time will be no exception. Have I ever mentioned that I love the guy?
"Yes, Buff. I also think it would be nice to meet Xander's girlfriend," he says.
So *that* was what Xander was trying to tell me!
"Of course." I smile brightly at Xander. "Maybe we could go to the movies next weekend..."
Xander smiles back. "Oh yes. I'm sure Anya would love it. Maybe we could make a triple date or something like that. You know, me and Anya, Angie here with her," he nods in Kate's direction. She is smiling again. Only over my dead body, Blondie, only over my dead body..." and you with...er... Are you still with Parker?"
I feel heat on my cheeks and actually hear Angel's snort of disgust. I hate it when my friends don't know about my life. But I really can't blame him, I mean, he hasn't been in Sunnydale since the beginning of college.
"I guess not," Xander says noticing our reactions.
"A long story, Xand. Let's just say that he was a mistake." A huge mistake. The worst mistake in my life, if you want to specify. Of course, he went with a blue eye courtesy of Angel and a bruised... uhm... let's just say that I doubt he could 'perform' for some weeks. What can I say? I hate it when being lied to and I didn't take those self-defense classes for anything...
We agreed on a date and hour for our reunion and then Xander left. I can see Angel isn't too eager for this 'reunion' but it's not as if he will let me go there alone when he knows Xander and his girl will be on cloud nine and that I shall feel left out of their romantic bubble. Nope, he definitely will go with me - no Kate included, of course - and he will tell me old jokes and ask me if I know this or that girl and how to court her and then he will tell me about the last date he had with the girl behind us or the one in front of us or maybe the one at my side... Uhh... I think I'll just go alone and spare him and myself the fake smiles.
Or then, maybe I'll do my mission as I planned it and by Saturday at 6:00 p.m. two couples very in love will enter the Sunnydale Movies hand-in-hand. Yeah. Consider me mission-girl since this moment. Now... what shall I do first?
However, before I reach a decision, music - GOOD music *at last*, who knows what the DJ of this party is on- plays and I just know that Angel loves to dance to this one. Ok. Step A already decided. I will ask him to dance. Or I would if my throat weren't so dry and his arms weren't already around Kate and he wasn't leading her towards the dance floor.
I hate my luck.
"Care to dance, Buffy?"
I really hate it.
"No thanks, Riley."
Let me present you Riley Finn. He was a good friend, one of the best boyfriends I've ever had but he isn't that good in the brains department. We broke it off SEVERAL months ago. How much longer will it last until he gets the message? It's not that I don't like him. Really. That's not the problem... It's only that I want to kick him into oblivion every time he asks me for a date or for a dance or just for coffee... Can't he understand that I don't want anything to do with him now? Of course not! Right now he is standing in front of me with those puppy blue eyes. Do you wanna have a *true* blue eye, darling? He isn't moving and the guys have gone to the dance floor... I'm all on my own and I just know that he wants to chat a while... He is opening his mouth... Oh no! God helps me!
But God doesn't as He decides to send an Angel to do it. *My* Angel. Now Kate is standing alone on the dance floor openmouthed and I haven't been so happy for a long time.
*grin*
"Hi, Riley!" Angel says as if they were best friends. Riley gives a start at the sudden interruption and just gazes at him confused. I love Angel, I truly do. Whoever saves me from this guy deserves my eternal love... the fact that he already has it just makes it better...
"Could you make me a real favor?" my friend asks using that smile of his that means 'Do What I Want Or Pay The Consequences'.
Riley doesn't get it and just stares at Angel like an idiot. I never was in love with him, I swear. He was just too nice and reliable... After Parker I *needed* nice and reliable. "Uh-huh..."
"Good! Do you see that blonde over there?" He points at Kate, who still is on the dance floor trying not to appear abandoned.
Riley nods dumbly.
"Well, you see, I have this problem where she needs to go home and I don't have my car at hand..." Liar! The day - or night - Angelus O'Connor goes out without his black convertible will be the day time ceases to be. Of course, Riley doesn't need to know it. "...and well, I happen to know your car is just outside and I was wondering if you could take my friend home..." Bored already, Angel? I already knew it but there's nothing as having you recognize it and send the girl away. Guess this one wasn't Mrs. Right either...
...good...
Riley nods again and leaves us to encounter the lonely blonde. They speak a little while and for a moment I can see Kate's eyes widening in surprise and going directly towards Angel. He winks at her playfully and waves goodbye. Guess he hadn't told her about his plan to get Riley out... Will she make a scene? No, she won't and she leaves the house with as much dignity as possible considering that she was just dumped in the first date - or what I *think* was the first date - and that Riley Finn is going with her.
Poor girl, I truly pity her. But going back to business...
I turn back and hug *my* Angel and I'm all 'Thank-you' and 'You saved my life' and 'I'll never be thankful enough'... Then I hug him a little tighter because I just remembered that I'm completely in love with him. After my little outburst - I *knew* I shouldn't have drunk that fourth beer - he looks at me with those brown eyes of his... Brown eyes. Friendly eyes. Sexy eyes. *His* eyes...
It's cliché but I'm a puddle on the floor right now and I want him to look at me with those brown/friendly/sexy... *blind* eyes until my last day and beyond...
Time for the real action, people. Blindness will not be accepted anymore in this relationship... if only my knees were stable and my hands weren't sweating...
Calm down, girl! It's only Angel! And he is lecturing me about how to break up in ONE stroke with losers like my ex and he just isn't shutting up long enough to let me speak. Guess those beers have left him very speech-able. Quite a difference from my *normal* Angel if you ask me... this guy can be silent for hours - which is good cuz I'm no good to stop talking - and then say in one to three sentences everything he thinks. I have always complained on it... and now that I need him silent he just won't shut up.
Luck is SO not with me tonight...
He speaks and I listen. He speaks and I stare. He speaks and I sigh because tonight is not my night.
And then the guys come back.
Gunn and Lindsey and Doyle with Cordelia in tow, of course. Now those two will be kissing like there is no tomorrow and after half an hour they will say that they are tired and want to go home and we will pretend to believe them.
"Do you wanna go home with me, Angel?"
Tell me *why* I don't say that and end this crap once for all?
Because I have brains. That's why.
Damn brain!
Conversation goes nicely enough, I guess. I would know for sure if I wasn't so concentrated thinking of a way to get to speak with Angel in private. A difficult thing considering we are in the middle of a party. I know that I could do it on Thursday... Only that I could not. There's a certain 'something' in our *friendly* reunions that stops me from trying anything romantic... Must be my brain again. A nudge brings me back to earth as Angel is just saying "Yeah, Gunn, I feel your pain." I nod quickly in agreement and Gunn smiles knowing he has such attentive friends. Then he goes on complaining about his new boss and I know that in some seconds Doyle will start complaining about Gunn. They share a room, you know? Even after all this time I still don't get how those two can share anything, much less the dorm room; they are as different as day and night. Doyle thinks Gunn is a cleaning-maniac and he doesn't stop teasing him about it... or he wouldn't if he weren't so busy kissing the daylights out of Cordelia Chase.
Gunn is a good friend of Angel, he often helps in a small orphanage in the outskirts of the town but after hearing him speak about this 'Snyder-wannabe' I'm guessing he won't go back for a long time. It's not that he is lazy and looking for excuses not to work, on the contrary, he is one of the most serious persons I ever met and I know it's difficult for him to live with the Doyle we all love and fear. I swear, that guy could compare to a little tornado when passing a night at your place! God only knows how he maintains his side of the room... Pizza boxes and beer cans scattered on the floor come to my mind when thinking of it... Only that I doubt Cordelia would accept to go to such an untidy place and considering that she still lives with her parents and Doyle hasn't got any money and the way they are kissing and groping I'd say they spend *a lot* of time in his room... Yeah, I'm sure he now is even tidier than Gunn. Who knows, maybe his romance with the ex Queen-C -or was it Queen-B(itch)?- isn't that bad.
So the guys are now talking about cars and motors. Gunn has this fascination for motorcycles and cars and especially for Angel's convertible. He has been begging him to let him drive it since I met him. Sorry, Gunn, but I am the only one who can claim to ever have driven the Angel-mobile... and to ever have crashed it, too. Angel didn't speak to me for a week but he finally understood that I needed the practice and promised to lend me his auto when I was forty and careful. But well, guys are speaking and I am saying the right thing at the right moment and I think I should have a best *girl* friend... Sorry, I know, digression much? It is only that being Angel's friend had not been the best way to make female acquaintances. I meet them allright, but then I have to avoid their jealous and angry and hurt looks after Angel has dumped them. It's not that I'm complaining on Angel. I'm not. 'Womanizer' or not he will always be the best for me. But right now I need someone to tell me that I am being an idiot and that I should be kissing my best friend instead of hearing him joke about my driving non-skills...
After they are done laughing about Cordelia and me - you can't blame me for turning the attention onto the *other* death-driver in our group, can you? - we begin to speak about other matters. Right now I'm telling them about the loony teacher in my Psych class and soon I'll have to resort to complaining and/or praising Mum's new boyfriend because I'm running out of horrible things to say about Prof. Walsh. She gave me an E. Yeah, a nasty *big* E and it wasn't fair and from the expressions on my friends' faces I've already told that story at least three times. Have I told you about the time my mum... eeer... she...
Of course, as always, Angel saves the day - night - and before I start telling how this Mr. Giles has been entering and leaving my home - or more specifically, my mum's room - for months, Angel grabs my hand and asks me to dance.
Dance?
Oh yeah! That thing where you move along with your partner to the music of - in this case - a SLOW song. And Angel wants to be my partner. And this is a slow song. It'll involve being near him and having our arms around each other and resting my head on his chest. Nothing we haven't done before. This would be the nth time he and I dance together... it's only that right now I have trouble speaking and thinking and breathing at all.
I just nod.
Yup, these are Angel and I on the dance floor and if he leaves me here as he left that Kate I'm going to... shut up and bear it until I can breathe again. He has his arms around me and the sensation is so familiar I wanna shout because being with the one you love should be a new experience time and time again. I'm feeling wonderful here. I could bet that he is using the cologne I gave him on his last birthday and the song is one of our favorites. And it is _so_wonderfully_slow_ that I know I could stay here forever. That there's a life outside Angel's arms? Not for me, thank you very much.
Reality comes back with the last accords of the song and I really need a girlfriend because she would wink at me right now meaning that I should set all fears aside and tell him I love him and finally kiss him. And I would do it. I really would. Only that in my dreams there's no blazing music surrounding us and we are alone under the moonlight and Angel isn't responding so eagerly to my kiss. WHAT?!
Tell me I'm dying. Please, go on and kill me right now. I can't believe I... Oh my God! Catcalls and whistles and Gunn and Lindsey and even Doyle and Cordelia have stopped their make-out session to stare at me with that amused glance in their eyes and I can't bring myself to face Angel.
*What* am I going to do now?!
His arms are still around me, you know? Is that a good thing or is he so surprised that he doesn't know what to do now?. I don't know either. Can you blame me? I'm still not looking at him but I know I should. I've just redefined the concept of 'embarrassing' and I can't shake off the feeling of his lips on mine. I've just blown up every chance I never had... Maybe I should run... that would be a good option if I didn't knew that I can't brake off his embrace.Time to face the real life, Summers. You got yourself in this mess and now it's time to say...
"I'm sorry."
Huh? I could swear that it was not my voice. It was Angel's. Why is he apologizing? Or is this the prelude to a nice and friendly brush off?
"I shouldn't have..." His voice is insecure and I don't know what the hell he is talking about. "I shouldn't have kissed you."
What??! Is he saying that *he* kissed *me*? When did I miss it? Damn digressions of mine! I finally raise my head. His eyes are as brown as ever and I have only seen him like this once before. Of course, at the time I was just a spectator and there was another blonde woman seeing his eyes. Understanding floods over me and... did I ever say that he was blind? I was SO wrong. *I* am the blind one. *We* are so blind that blindness is our secret element... Blind can't begin to describe how stupid I am and I'll make sure of telling him that and scream at him for not telling me earlier...
Ok, I'm shutting up now. He is kissing me again - this time I know it was my fault - and I'm enjoying it.
Maybe tonight didn't go as I had planned it but I did get the guy, didn't I? And if the guy is kissing me, who am I to even think of you?
The Date After DISCLAIMER: My best friend belongs to his girlfriend... *hopeless sigh*... Oh! And the characters of the story don't belong to me, either. DISTRIBUTION: If you have the first two parts feel free to take this one. If you don't and want it... Just e-mail me where it is going. SUMMARY: Wishful thinking for me, B/A-ness for you. Heavy AU. TIMELINE: Hopefully some months into *my* future. Seriously? One day after 'Tonight'. FEEDBACK: You like this, you e-mail me. You hate this, you e-mail me. You don't even read this, you e-mail me to explain why you didn't!! dani_vasq@hotmail.com , a_d_v_v@yahoo.com.ar
Today I wanna play. So come here. Let's have some fun. Are you scared? Worried maybe? I promise I'll be a good girl. Have I ever lied to you?
You know well who I am: Your little friend, the nicest one. Now you'll only have to guess why am I here, looking for fun.
Don't be so shy, I know you aren't Don't say a word; it has no use. I wanna kiss you, have fun together I wanna play and be with you. -ME-
They are evil, I'm telling you. They are laying on my bed looking sooo innocent, all the while waiting for a decision they *know* I can't make. I eye them carefully, considering each one's advantages and disadvantages. And so there I go again...
Green or dark blue?
Do I want IT to match my eyes or my shirt? Eyes or Shirt. Green or Dark blue. Would *you* be able to decide?
Oh my God! Look at the clock! It's already 6:30... Ohmygod! I'm gonna be SO late. He'll kill me. I know it. He'll see me at the door with my T-shirt, my make-up half-done and he'll go and won't come back... and the worst thing is that I still don't know if it should be green or dark blue...
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm just choosing a skirt, you know? Just a simple skirt for my date. Something I've done countless times since I was sixteen... How comes I cannot decide now?!
Green or dark blue? green or dark blue, green or... hey! What do we have here? I didn't know I had this black one.... Uhm.... Oh yeah! I remember now... I was planning to give it to Dawn. It's way too short for me now... *evil grin* It's Perfect.
Let's see what he says when he sees me in this... or how long it lasts until he *can* say it...
Don't stare at me like that! As if you wouldn't do the same thing if you were in my shoes!
And speaking about shoes... Ha! here they are.
Now only to put on the sleeveless shirt he likes so much - he gave it to me last Christmas with a smile and a express order *not* to wear it when in a date... Well, well, let's see *why* he didn't want any guy to see me in it....- and the matching shoes and what shall I do with my hair tonight?
This used to be easy. Go out with Angel, I mean. I didn't need to dress up because, well, do you dress up when you go out with your best friend? Just a pair of jeans, some T-shirt and if I wanted to attract some male's attention I had to refuse Angel's invitation because no guy liked the third degree *my* Angel gave them. Overprotective to the bones, let's see how much he'll 'protect' me now...
However, as I was saying, this was supposed to be easy. Now it is not. It's my first date with Angel. Yes, a date. As in going to a fine restaurant with his arms around my waist and eyeing hostily at every girl who dares to look at my Angel. Well, what if the part of the fine restaurant and his arms are old routine? I know I'll love putting every little hussy in her rightful place: Way out of *his* way.
Yeah, ok, I admit it. I *am* possessive. But just a little bit, I assure you. It's not as if you could blame me, I mean, I've seen *my* Angel with dozens other girls while I was in love with him. Even more if you count the ones from before I set my eyes on him. And I *know* that tonight there'll be more than a lonely girl looking for *his* company... It's only natural to be possessive in this case.
Now, where did I put that leather jacket? Yeah, yeah, I already know that leather jacket and fine restaurant don't go together. But this jacket is special. He gave it to me years ago, just after we met each other, a lot of time before he became the Casanova he was until now. Yeah. Until now. I'm not planning to let him go, you know?. Of course you know. After hearing all I've told about my relationship with Angel, it is pretty obvious. Isn't it?
What? You don't know everything? You still wanna know what happened after those kisses at the party last night? Sorry, guys, but it is private... NO! Not *that* private! Jeez, get your mind out of the gutter, will you? I mean, Angel is a perfect gentleman. Yeah, I'm disappointed too. Nevertheless, I also think it's for the best. We cannot just jump into bed, it would be too strange... We have been *best friends* for years, it's not that easy to have all the rules changed overnight and now have him as my boyfriend... even if I *have* been thinking of this for a LONG time.
However, where did I put that damned jacket? Oh yes. Now I know where is it.
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oops, forgot she is at a friend's.
I'm gonna kill that girl. I'm really going to. Isn't it enough to her to have free access to all my cosmetics? Of course it isn't! Damn that little monster! You would think that after the lecture Mum gave her last week she would stop grabbing my things!
Ha! Just as I thought. Here is it. Hanging in her wardrobe as if it were *hers*. Doesn't that girl have any decency left? I'm gonna have a LONG talk with her when she comes home from her sleepover.
Damn it! It's already 6:47. Angel is coming at seven. Knowing him, he will be at my door five minutes earlier. And my hair is still wet!
Ok, ok, don't panic. It's just a little date. Even if you are not ready on time he will understand and come to your room and help you with your hairdo. No! That's what he does when I am in date with another! When did things become so complicated?
And what if he had booked us a place? I remember him ranting about a girl who made him lose his reservations. Let me tell you that he wasn't very nice to her. Damn, he was all angry and upset! He even broke up with her the next morning! I'm SO gonna kill Dawn for making me lose precious time...
Ok. My hair isn't so wet anymore and I still have some minutes left.
DING-DONG.
Or maybe not.
Breathe deep. Count to ten. Damn it, calm yourself, Buffy Summers! This is only a freaking date!
Ok. I'm calmed now. And I have the poor man waiting at my door for a whole minute. Let's keep him waiting a little more. It's not my fault if he decided to come MUCH sooner than accorded, is it? Let's see... Hot attire? Check. Make-up? Check. A good dose of perfume? Check. Latest hairdo...? Uhh. I'm sorry but plain half-wet, half-loosened style will have to do.
I open the door and there is sweet, sweet Angel smiling at me.
I take a good look at him.
Yup, there he is with his gentle brown eyes, his lopsided smile, and...
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I cannot believe that the damn BASTARD has the galls to *smile* at me! I mean... Look at him! Old jeans, time-worn T-shirt... I wouldn't be surprised if he had put on his old sneakers... No. He hasn't. But still...
I smile. Yes, this is me smiling broadly and accepting the beautiful rose he brought for me.
This is the first date and I should have been prepared. This is Angel after all. And if the guy needed MONTHS to realise that I was interested in him I guess I can use some days to teach him that rules *have changed* and that he cannot come to a DATE with me dressed as if he was just going out with his best friend...
Now, considering his clothes I guess that the idea of a fine restaurant is totally out now. He won't bring me to a McDonalds, will he?
Famous last words...
----
*2 hours later*
Is murder always a crime?
Go away, little hussy dressed as a waitress!
----
*10 minutes later*
I'll kill him.
Yes. I'll put my hands round that adorable neck of his and I'll squeeze. Hard.
He is smiling back. You wouldn't if you knew *why* I am smiling, my dear.
Curious about my murderous intentions, people?
Well, let's say that you have been after a guy for some months. Then let's just suppose that the most exciting night of your life was when he finally recognised his feelings for you and *finally* kissed you and invited you to a date. A real date!. You. Him. Candles and romance. Just the basics. And then... *sigh*... then let's just say that your precious Prince Charming brings you to a FAST FOOD restaurant and didn't even glance twice at your painfully chosen attire.
Ready to kill your soon-to-be ex-*everything*?
I already am.
----
*1 hour later*
I'm bored.
I never thought I could even feel this in Angel's company but now I'm proving myself wrong.
Oh God! What happened here! This was supposed to be the best night of my life. Angel and I. I and Angel. That had possibilities... and none of them included sitting in his car - well, some of them included his car but definitely *no* sitting- and waiting for something to happen.
He says he wants to surprise me. "You already did, Angel," I answer. Of course, he doesn't even guess that last part of my thoughts.
Oblivious as always, aren't we?
Well, we are on the road now. And we have already passed all the known make-out-in-your-own-car places... Sigh. Maybe he has discovered a new one? Don't let your hopes up, Buffy, especially when he hasn't even one looked at this shirt. Is something wrong with me? Maybe it's bad breath... No, it isn't. I used the wrong cologne? But he had never cared about that! Or maybe... No. And if... No, no, no. He *is* interested and that's all. He would not kiss me in front of half Sunnydale just to tell me the next day that he doesn't want anything to do with me. Would he?
Oh shit! Why doesn't he just stop the car and kiss the lights out of me? Maybe that way I would forget all my doubts and the way he was staring down the waitress' cleavage. No, I' not exaggerating. He *did* stare. It's not as if I had never seen him doing that... I remember a time when... but you are not interested in old stories between us, are you? Ok, ok, I'll tell you, just don't use that choker, please...
Remember me telling you about Angel's football trainings? Remember me saying that he -and all girls at school- did gain a lot from them? Such a nice view... *sigh* and now that I have him all to myself he won't look at me twice.
Damn!
But back to the story, he always went to those trainings and forgot completely that school also consisted of other things, namely courses such as Maths or Biology... So there we were, the very last day before Biology's final and he knew nothing about plant cells. Of course, I, dutiful and nice best friend, had offered to teach him.
We were at my home. My home can get pretty hot in summer, I'm telling you. So I was wearing one of my favourite shirts, one of the kind you would defend against your father saying that it is not *your* fault if the hemline is so low. And it *was* low, but it was a hot summer and I had the right to use a short shirt. It is not my fault if summers are hot, is it? I remember sitting right next to him because the boy hadn't brought his own book. Not my fault again... So there I was explaining about photosynthesis and mitochondrias when I noticed it. Yeah, I actually saw him not looking at the book but at me, and not at my face either... let's just say that his gaze was a little bit lower... I think I turned purple then. I know he did too. So there we were, staring at each other with a telling blush on our faces when I turned and continued explaining how the sun was fundamental in a plant's life and he pointed out a mistake in the picture we had been studying.
We never mentioned that lapse anymore. However, I remember thinking that it must had been just an illusion. Because this was Angel, wasn't it? And he was my best friend, wasn't he? And male best friends aren't supposed to stare down their very female best friend shirt, are they? Are they!? Whoever thinks they aren't, is wrong.
But then, female best friends aren't supposed to gawk at their very male best friends when they are running shirtless in the park... Guilty as sin, that I am. Can you really blame me? Innocent little me was just going for a walk when I saw him, let's insert a BIG 'yummy' here... What could I do? I'm only a girl after all!
Which brings me to the fact that I'm a girl, he's a boy, and we are both in a very comfortable auto. And he still hasn't told me where he is bringing me.
He still hasn't kissed me, either.
*2 hours later*
Oh my God!
I can't believe he did it!! But he did! He did it! Oh my god!!!
Curious?
Well, I left you in the middle of our car drive through nothingness. Right five minutes later Angel stopped the car and told me to step out. He parked his precious treasure in some corner between the woods and the grabbed my hands and asked if I trusted him. Of course, at the time I was more preoccupied with the fact that I was using high heels while in a forest full with fallen leaves and that I would probably fall down before I had time to answer.
"Yes." What more was to say? Some cheesy discourse of how much I've trusted him for the last six years? And to risk falling in a heap while I'm saying it? No sir. By the way, have I mentioned how much I wanted to burn those shoes once I was at home?
So he told me to close my eyes and then I felt a cloth against my face. He had blindfolded me! Sudden visions of heartfully prepared picnics with a beautiful view of the sundown flooded my mind. I shook my head at the image. What a cliché!
He led me between trees and bushes all the while muttering about impractical shoes and finally carrying me in his arms. Have I ever said how much I love him?
Then, short minutes afterwards, he put me back on my feet and carefully took the blindfold out of my face. I had to gasp at the sight in front of me. It was a heartfully prepared picnics with a beautiful view of the sundown...
Isn't it funny how it sounds different when you still haven't seen it? And it was.
My first question was how he had found this place. It was just SO perfect. He didn't answer and just embraced me. Ok, so I wasn't the first one he had brought here, I guess I can understand that... My second question was to ask *who* had prepared the food. I love Angel, I really do, but the kitchen has been *my* domain in our relationship and I wouldn't trust him with more than jelly sandwiches... he just chuckled and told me his mum had done it.
Thank God. But... If his mother had done this then...
"So, your mum knows we... I mean you and I... I mean... damn!" I hate this stuttering when I'm nervous.
"Yeah, she knows about us."
I avoid the 'us'-part - no need for me to melt right now - and concentrated on the 'she'. She: Eveline O'Connor: Angel's mum, the sweetest woman on earth after his grandmother. And I have to add that they both love me dearly. Yesterday I was complaining on not having any serious girlfriend, well, I have to say that Mrs O'Connor has filled the role for a long time. Regretfully, it was not as if I could share my crush on her son with her. Way too weird.
So here I am eating delicious home-made cookies. Mmmm... chocolate... I adore it.
I feel *him* looking at me. It is strange, you know. I've had Angel looking at me for six years and never did it feel like now, not even yesterday. It was as if he was watching every movement of mine, analysing them... it was not a bad feeling, just a weird one. Strangely, it made me remember why we were here. It was not for the chocolate cookies, not even for the splendid view of the stars between the trees... it was because I love this guy and he loves me.
He loves me, doesn't he?
My answer is a kiss. One long and precious kiss. And a very tasty one, too. It seems that my Angel had been caring for his breath, he tastes like mint. Mmmm... This tastes like an ice-cream I once ate. Guess I have a new favourite there.
The kiss goes on and hey! why did you make me doubt if he loved me!
I would have liked to see the end of the film, I really would have. But some things are out of my control. Don't understand a word? I'll explain it to you.
I believe I left you at the forest in the middle of a romantic picnic. Did I already say that it was beautiful? Well, it was. Maybe it was not the fine restaurant I had been hoping for but it was very beautiful.
Sadly, all things had to end. Even if we didn't want them to.
Angel stopped the car in front of my house and looked at me. I looked at him. He looked at me. I... kissed him.
Can you guess how much I *did not* want to go back home?
Sigh.
Eventually we pulled apart and before I knew it, he was out the car and opening my door. Such a gentleman! He took my hand and led me to my door.
There we were. In front of my door. That was Angel. That was my door. Angel. My door. Angel...
"Want to come in?" What else was to say? I just could not let him go...
"Of course."
We sat on the sofa and moments later I brought in some chips and coke. We ruffled through the videos until we came up with something we both liked and still hadn't seen. Believe me, it's always *difficult* to find something to please us both. It was one of mum's films. From the summary at the back of the video, it didn't seem too bad.
So we were on my sofa, with his arms around me, watching the film when suddenly the protagonists began to... uhm... have you ever seen one of those films where the least you expected was a NC-17 rating and suddenly BOOM there it was... well, insert a blush here. Better make it double, he was a red as me. Too much naked flesh and not enough on this side of the screen. Bad, bad thoughts... you are a naughty girl, Buffy.
And I *really* would have liked to see the end of the film. It was interesting even without the sex part. Nevertheless, just as I said, some things are completely and utterly out of my control. Such as Angel's compulsion to kiss me when I'm least expecting it. Not that I'm against it. Believe me, I'm not. It's just that when he kisses me it is as if something goes BOOM in my head and I can't stop myself. I just discovered he has that power over me whenever he likes.
So there we were, on my sofa, with a not-for-kids film on video, kissing, nearly groping and I'm very lucky that I don't have a father at home and that my mother and her boyfriend are out on a 'business' trip. Of course, I could always be wrong. And that's what I discovered when the door suddenly opened and I heard a gasp and a
"Buffy!?"
See? Didn't I tell you? There *are* things in this world that are out of my control, and my mother deciding to come back home a day earlier is absolutely one of them.
Want to help me explain mum why I am still up at midnight? Want to explain *why* is my best friend still with me? I certainly don't want to tell her *why* I am kissing him on her sofa.
"Hi, mum."
Have you ever wished the earth to open and swallow you ? Please! Please! Open and swallow me!
NOW!
The End.