Author: angellover
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Thanks to Emma, Melissa, Marie, Danielle, Amanda, BklyAngel, CelticAngel, Christine, Karen, Kolumbyne, Ryan, Cristina, L.K., Court, Sandy, Kim, Carol Ann, Isis, Jade, Kal, and Maria for their feedback on chapter 50. Anita CHAPTER 51
"Okay, Buffy. You can sit up." Dr. Marlene Covey pushed away from the exam table, and slid her stool over to the small desk on the wall of the exam room.
"I umm... Is everything okay?" Buffy asked, sitting up on the exam table, and staring at Dr. Covey's back.
"Everything's looks good with the baby so far." Dr. Covey answered as she jotted some notes down on Buffy's chart.
"And with me?" Buffy asked meekly. "I'm sensing something here. Is there something wrong with my blood work?
"No. You're still a little anemic, but you have another two weeks on your medication and hopefully by your next visit it will have taken care of it. I'll make sure Dr. Jobson gets a copy of everything."
"Then what's the problem?"
"You tell me, Buffy?" Dr. Covey turned around to look at Buffy. "I know this is your first visit, and I don't know you very well, but I am a woman and I have eyes." She scooted her stool back over in front of Buffy. "Do you want to tell me why you wouldn't let your boyfriend stay in the exam room during the exam? Isn't he the father of this baby?"
"Y-Yes." Buffy looked down at her hands.
"Then why wouldn't you let him stay? I myself like it when a expectant father takes an active role in the expectant mother's pregnancy. I think it's good for the both of them, and I also think it's good for the baby, although others would disagree with me. He wanted to stay. I could tell, and if you don't mind I'd like to know why you wouldn't let him?"
"It's personal." Buffy muttered.
"I see." Dr. Covery murmured, staring at the top of her head. "Okay, since it's personal I won't push you to tell me what it is. But I will push you to tell me why you've lost another five pounds since you were released from the hospital. Because whatever it is I can tell you now that unless you change whatever it is it's eventually going to take it's toll on both you and the baby. Is it the nausea and vomiting? Is the medicine not working?"
"It's not that."
"Okay, what about eating? Are you eating?"
"I-I'm trying."
"And sleeping? Are you getting enough sleep."
Buffy looked up. "That's all I do is rest, Dr. Covey. I'm in the bed all the time. Angel won't let me do anything else. I've gotten to the point that I hate that god damn bed. Especially since he won't..."
"Since he won't what, Buffy?"
"Nothing." Buffy muttered, looking back down at her hands.
"Does this have something to do with sexual relations?"
"Yes, no. I just... I don't sleep. It's kinda hard to sleep when your getting married in a week, and suddenly the man you love doesn't even want to touch you anymore." She looked back up at Dr. Covery. "Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?"
"So this is about sexual relations?"
Well, I don't sleep so I guess you could say I lay on the other. I think it's me. I think the fact that I might not make it... I think he just asked me to marry him because he was afraid that I might not make it through this, and now that he's got me to agree to marry him he doesn't... I think all this hospital stuff, and my being pregnant has turned him off. I don't think he's attracted to me anymore."
"Did you stop to think that maybe he's scared, Buffy? I've seen this before. The expectant father gets scared that he might hurt the expectant mother or the baby, and those fears only double when the expectant mother is having complications. I imagine it's even worse for your fiancee' because not only are you facing a long list of possible complications, you're also putting your life at risk to have this baby. His baby. He's probably terrified, and in order to keep you from seeing just how scared he really is he's withdrawn physically and emotionally to keep you from finding out."
"Do you really think that's it?"
Dr. Covey gave her a smile. "Well, I can't say for sure because I'm not him, but I can tell you that that's what I think it is. You should talk to him."
Buffy busted out crying. "A-And tell him what? Th-That I'm having doubts about his r-reasons for wanting to marry me? Yeah, that will go over j-just great considering he just spent the last three months t-trying to prove to m-me that he loved me no matter what. If I t-tell him th-that it will h-hurt him and th-that's the last thing I w-want to do."
"I can understand you not wanting to hurt him, Buffy. But the only answer here is for you to do just that. You can't continue to keep this to yourself. It's not just affecting you emotionally, it's affecting you physically and eventually it will take it's toll on the baby, too."
"I-I could handle this... I could if it wasn't for the fact that I umm..."
"You what, Buffy?"
"I umm..." Buffy sniffled. "This is so embarrassing but my uhh... my sexual uhh... I think my hormones have affected my uhh..." She sniffled, and took a deep breath. "I think my hormones have affected my desire for him because when he won't touch me I feel like I could die."
Doctor Covey laughed. "That's not uncommon, Buffy. But the affect is usually the opposite. Most pregnant women see a decrease in their sex drive. Some don't even want to be touched."
"So what I'm feeling is normal. Please God tell me it's normal, Dr. Covey because I really do feel like I want to die. He umm... He has always made me happy in and out of the bedroom, and I want it back. And I don't just mean the sex part. I miss the closeness between us, and I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get it."
"I promise you it's normal, Buffy. And like I said before I think you should talk to him. Tell him everything your feeling then tell him what I said. If he's still have fears after that then give him my number and tell him to call me."
"O-Okay."
"Good." Dr. Covey smiled at her again. "Now is there anything else you need to discuss with me?"
"No. I umm... I just have a couple of more questions. Angel... He umm... He won't let me climb up and down stairs, and he wanted to ask you about that but since I wouldn't let him stay in here, I'll do it for him. Can I? Climb up and down stairs, I mean?"
"You can as long as you're not having any cramping or spotting. The same goes for sexual relations, and exercise. But I want you to limit your exercise to just walking for now. Anything else?"
"Our honeymoon. Angel thinks we should hold off on going on a trip for now. What do you think?"
"I think he may be right in his decision. You're still anemic, and the travel may fool with it."
"I understand."
"Good." Dr. Covey stood up. "Now let's clarify a few more things, and then I'll let you get dressed. First thing, I expect you to keep all your appointments with me. Dr. Jobson told me you called and cancelled your last one with him, and he wanted me to remind you just how important it is for you not to do that anymore. We're not just thinking about your health anymore. We're thinking about your baby's, too. Do you understand?"
Buffy nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I understand the importance of all my visits now."
"I'm glad." Dr. Covey gave her another smile. "Because now I want you to take this little tidbit to heart. The next time I see you I expect things to have improved with you both physically and emotionally. I also expect you to let that new husband of yours come in with you your next visit. He should be here to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time."
"Th-The b-baby's heartbeat?"
"That's right. We can listen to it with a device called a doppler. I would have done it this visit, but I felt that I needed to make this talk between us first priority. Now I'm going to go. Stop at the front desk, and schedule your next appointment for two weeks. I'll see you then."
Buffy smiled. "Thanks, Dr. Covey."
"You're welcome." Dr. Covey headed for the door, but turned around to look at Buffy before she opened it. "Oh, and Buffy..."
"What?"
"Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. I hope your wedding day is just as beautiful as mine was."
***
Buffy laid her fork down and looked across the table at Angel. "Are you still pouting at me?"
"I don't pout. That's your speciality." Angel stood up and took his dirty plate to the sink.
She stared at his rigid back. "Okay, let me rephrase the question then. Are you still brooding at me?"
Instead of turning around, Angel gripped the counter with both his hands. "I'm not going to fight with you, Buffy so if that's what you want you might as well forget it because it's not going to happen."
"Angel..." Buffy scooted her chair back, and stood up just as he spun around to look at her. "I said I don't want to fight, Buffy. I'm going to my office. I have some things I have to do. You should try to get some rest." Without another word he disappeared ot the kitchen, leaving her staring after him.
"Oh great..." She plopped back down in the dining room chair. "Way to go, Buffy." She buried her face in her hands. This was so not the way she wanted things to go. He was more than broody, he was pissed. And she knew she was going to have to give him time to cool off before she even attempted to try to fix things with him. Until then she was going to have to find something to do because there was no way in hell she was going to bed. Not without him anyway. With her mind made up, she decided to do the dishes, which took all of five minutes since it was just his and hers. After that she figured she might as well call her mother and tell her about how her doctor's appointment went. Going into the living room, she made a beeline for the phone on the table beside the sofa, and quickly dialed her mom's phone number. "Giles' residence."
"Hey, Mom."
"Buffy, sweetie. I was just thinking about you. How did your doctor's appointment go?"
"Good. It went good. Dr. Covey's really nice. Nice, but strict. I like her."
"And is everything okay?"
"The baby's fine, Mom."
"I wasn't just asking about the baby, Buffy. How did your blood work look?"
"I'm still a tad anemic, but Dr. Covey thinks the medication I have left should take care of it. Everything else looked good. Well, except for the fact that I lost five more pounds. Dr. Covey was a little upset about it, but I think we've worked on the problem, and hopefully things will be better by my next appointment."
"What did Angel say about the weight loss. I bet he was upset, wasn't he?"
"Well, he uhh... He doesn't know about it yet."
"What do you mean he doesn't know, Buffy. How could he not know when he went to your appointment with you today?"
"He doesn't know because I sort of wouldn't let him stay in the exam room when Dr. Covey came in."
"Why, Buffy?"
"I umm... I needed some space from him."
Joyce sighed. "What happened? Did you two have a fight?"
"No. No. Not a fight."
"But something is wrong, Buffy. I can hear it in your voice."
"It's nothing that can't be fixed, Mom. At least I don't think it's nothing that can't be fixed. I hurt his feelings because I wouldn't let him stay in the exam room with me, and he's barely spoken to me all evening. He just needs some space, too. Once he cools off I'll fix it."
"Are you going to tell me what started it all in the first place?"
"No, Mom. It's between us, okay? And I will fix it since it's my fault. Now that's all I'm going to say. I just wanted to call you and tell you what the doctor said, and to let you know that we'll be staying over in LA tonight in case you need to reach us."
"You two didn't come home?"
"No. Angel said two car trips in one day was too much for me, and insisted we stay at the penthouse tonight. I tried to talk him into flying, but he says he doesn't want me flying unless it's an emergency. He thinks flying is risky, and that it's even harder on a pregnant woman."
Joyce laughed. "It sounds to me like he's stepped over the line of just being overprotective, Buffy. What else will he insist is bad for pregnant women?"
God, if you only knew, Mom. Buffy thought to herself. "I umm... He just worries, Mom. A little too much sometimes."
"I know, honey. I was just picking. He loves you. I know that, and I'm glad you have him."
"Me, too." Buffy murmured. "I can't wait to be his wife."
"Speaking of the wedding, how's your dress coming along?"
"It's looking even better than I thought, and I'm a little ahead of schedule. That's why I left it at home. I decided to take the night off, but I wish hadn't now. I wished I had brought it. With Angel brooding at me right now I'm totally on my own until he cools off. I need something to do. Do you have anything I can do. Wedding wise, I mean?"
"I'm afraid not, honey. Everything on my end has been taken care of. Willow, Anya, and Amy had their last fittings today."
"And Cordy's dress?"
"Cordy's dress was finished a couple of days ago. I wish I could say the same about her wedding dress. I talked to her earlier and the poor dear was talking about doing a internet search. Whatever she does I just hope she finds one quick. The wedding is now exactly two months away."
"I know." Buffy sighed. "Doyle is already starting to get nervous. But it's only because he's worried about her."
"Well, let's keep our fingers crossed and hope that maybe she does find something on the internet."
"I will." Buffy's eyes traveled to a couple of bridal magazines she had purchased to look at the day after her and Angel had set their wedding date, laying on the coffee table. "I umm... Look, Mom I'm going to go. I umm... Daddy. I still have to call Daddy, and then Doyle. If I don't I know they'll both be trying to call me. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay, sweetie. Tell Angel I said hello and to drive carefully on the way home tomorrow."
"I will, Mom. Give Giles a kiss for me. Bye."
Buffy hung up the phone with her mom, and then after a quick call to her father she hung up with him, and dialed Cordelia and Doyle's phone number. The whole time her eyes kept returning to the bridal magazines. "Hello?"
"Hey, Cordy. It's Buffy." "Buffy, hey. How was the doctor's appointment? Are you and my little niece or nephew, okay?"
"We're both fine, Cordy. And my new doctor is really nice. I like her."
"What about Angel? Did he like her?"
"I umm... He umm... He didn't get to meet her actually. I sort of screwed up things to the point he's really pissed off at me right now, and I'd really love to talk to you about it with you but I'd rather talk to you about something else instead if you don't mind?"
"Sure. What's up?"
"Well, as you know Angel and I are staying in LA tonight and I was thinking..."
"About?"
"That I might get Angel to take me to a couple of bridal shops before we come home tomorrow to see if I could help find you a dress. And well... I just realized that I have no idea what you're looking for."
"Buffy, you don't have to..."
"I know I don't, Cordy. I want to. It's the least I can do after everything you've done to help Angel and I with our wedding. Now tell me what you're looking for? What type of body do you want it to have? Do you want sheath, sihoutte, princess, empire, mermaid, a-line, or slip style?"
"I don't care, Buffy. I guess princess because I want to look like a princess for Doyle. Oh, and I want a cathederal train."
"A long cathederal train, or a semi-cathederal."
"Long."
"Okay, what about the color? bridal white, ivory, bone, rum pink, champagne? God, there are so many different colors. Weddings are not as traditional as the used to be. I seen a red, white, and blue wedding gown in one of the bridal magazines I bought a couple of weeks ago."
"Red, white, and blue. Really patriotic and would be nice if you were getting married on the fourth of July, but it's not quite my cup of tea. Now ivory, bone, champagne, maybe even rum pink. I like any of those colors. Their different yet..."
"Eloquent?"
"Yeah." Cordelia murmured. "My dress definitely has to be that."
"Okay, I'll see what I can do."
"Thanks, Buffy."
"Don't thank me yet, Cordy. Let me see what I can do first. Now I'm going to go, so do me a favor and tell that brother of mine how my doctor's appointment went so he won't worry or call me for that matter. I do not want any phone calls tonight unless it's an emergency. I have some major fixing to do with my honey, and I don't want to be disturbed while I'm trying to do the fixing. I'll talk to everyone including him and you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay. Bye, Buffy."
"Bye, Cordy."
Buffy hung up the phone and stared at the stack of magazines on the table in front of her, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to pick them up to go through them, and then she finally figured out why. Jumping up from the sofa, she jotted Angel a quick note then grabbed her purse, and left the penthouse with one thing in mind.
When she returned an hour later she noticed that her note to Angel was exactly where she had left it and that he probably hadn't left his office to even read it or notice that she was gone for that matter. He was really angry with her. She knew that. And she understood that he needed time to get over it, so she sat down on the sofa and pulled the items that she had went out and hour ago to buy from the bag they were in, intending to use them to kill the time while she was waiting on Angel to cool off. She stared at the items for a long time before she finally got up enough nerve to open them up, and all she could do now was pray that she had it inside her to accomplish what she was about to set out to do...
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Thanks to Marie, annja, Michelle, Bklyangel, Carol Ann, Emma, Connie, Cristina, Danielle, Gretchen, Jade, Jennifer, Julie, Kim, L.K., Shannon, Tammy, and Terrie for their feedback last chapter. Thanks again, guys! Oh and just a reminder, none of this belongs to me, it all belongs to Joss and Company. This chapter is NC-17 so stay away kiddies!
CHAPTER 52
It was after eleven o'clock when Buffy finally laid the sketch pad down that she was working in. She'd been so involved in what she was doing that she hadn't realized it had gotten so late. She was proud of herself, but it didn't take long for that pride to wear off and turn into worry about matters with Angel. Apparently he was more pissed than she thought because he hadn't put in an appearance all night. And now that it was so late she had a pretty good idea what he was doing. It was the same thing he'd been doing the last two weeks. He was waiting for her to go to bed, and go to sleep before he snuck in and crawled into bed with her. The funny thing was that all those nights he'd thought she'd been asleep; the truth was she hadn't been. The truth was she had lain awake every night hoping against all hope that he would slid into bed, and spoon up against her the way he used to do. Unfortunately though, that hadn't happened, and she had no intention of letting him get by with it another night. They were going to talk whether he liked it or not, and hopefully after that... Well, she hoped she would get her wish after that. With that thought, she turned out the lights in the living room, and headed into the bedroom to find that she was correct on her assumption. The bedroom light was on, but Angel wasn't there, and his closed office door signaled to her that he was still brooding. Okay, she decided to give him a few more minutes. She owed him that for all the times he had put up with her pouting, and after one final glance at the door she headed into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. When she re-emerged twenty minutes later she discovered that Angel still hadn't left his office and decided right then and there that the moment of truth was at hand. She was going to have to confront him and all she could do now is hope and pray that he had calmed down enough to let her make things right. She didn't bother to knock as she reached his office door to open it. She wanted to catch him off guard, but evidently she didn't because he didn't even bother to look up when she stopped just inside the doorway. "You're supposed to be in bed. It's late." "I know what time it is, Angel. And I am planning to go to bed, but I need to say something to you before I do." "I told you I didn't want to fight, Buffy." "That's good because I don't want to fight either. I just came in here to spill my guts and then I intend to leave you alone." She leaned against the door. "First, let me start by saying I'm sorry. I know I hurt your feelings today, and it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. I needed some space to figure out some things in my head because I was too chicken to talk to you about it, and in the process I hurt you. I'm sorry. And I really do mean it, Angel. I realize now that not only did I hurt you, I took you for granted as well. I always believed that you were the strong one in this relationship. I still believe that because you always know the right things to say and do. You're always there for me no matter what, and I have a tendency to forget that even the strongest of people get scared. I forgot that even you get scared, and by forgetting that I took you for granted and I'm sorry. What I did wasn't intentional, honest. I just... the last two weeks something has been wrong... with us... And I d-didn't... I thought..." She looked down at her feet. "You thought what? Buffy looked up to find Angel looking at her with a frown on his face. "Y-You haven't uhh... You won't t-touch me... You've p-pulled away from m-me... A-And I know couples don't m-make love all the time... It's not even about the making love part. It's the closeness... I've missed it. I miss you. T-Touching me... H-Holding me. I miss falling a-asleep in your arms and waking up in them in the mornings... I miss you, Angel. A-And I'm sorry, but because you pulled away I-I got s-scared, too. I-I became an idiot again, and I started doubting y-your reasons for being with me... I started thinking you wasn't attracted to me anymore, a-and that you didn't want me anymore, a-and I got scared. I got scared and in the process I took you for granted. I-I never once stopped to think that the strongest and most important person in my life could get scared, too. I never stopped to think that maybe you needed me to help you through your fears the way I needed you to help me through mine, and because I didn't see that I hurt you today, and I'm sorry. There was some things going on with me that I didn't understand, and I was afraid to talk to you about them. I couldn't talk to you about them. But I want you to know that I'm ready now. To talk to you. A-And to listen, if and when you're ready to let me. I-If and when you're ready to forgive me for being such a fucking idiot again I'm here, Angel and I promise I will do my best not to shut you out ever again." She turned to leave, but Angel's voice stopped her. "Buffy?" "What?" She asked, but didn't turn around. "I've missed you, too." Her eyes welled up with tears. "Y-You have?" "Yes. So much..." "A-Angel..." She spun around to look at him. "Come here." He gently ordered. "W-Who me?" She pointed to herself. He chuckled. "I don't see anyone else in the room." He quickly sobered. "Now come here. I promise I don't bite." "A-Are you sure? C-Cause biting would be g-good. I'd take biting." "Buffy..." He locked his mahogany eyes with her, silently reeling her in, and God then he would have to go and hook her with just one word form that gorgeous mouth of his. "Please?" She gave in and padded across the carpet, stopping a few feet away from his chair. "W-What?" "Come a little closer..." He wiggled a finger at her. She inched a little closer, and the next thing she knew she was tumbling into his lap, and oh boy... The contact was intense upon impact, burning her through her thin, black silk robe. He was cradling her, his hands on her bottom, scorching her. And her hands on his chest, burning imprints through his shirt. But nothing... nothing could have rocked her more than the look in his eyes the moment she raised her gaze to his. "A-Angel..." "Shh..." He whispered, using his hands on her bottom to lift her up for a kiss that sent almost orgasmic tremors through her body. The kiss deepened instantly, and his tongue sensuously eased between her lips to mate with hers, and holy shit she was being engulfed in fire, her blood boiling, and the mewl that escaped from deep inside her only confirmed her need. In an almost frenzy, she maneuvered herself in his lap until she was straddling him with her body pressed so tightly against him and ounce of air couldn't pass between them. Angel's hands threaded into Buffy's hair as he broke the deeper kiss down into smaller, lighter one's which he spread over her face. He touched her lips, her cheeks, her chin, and the edges of her jaw before sliding downwards to the sensitive spot at the base of her neck. Buffy arched hard at the waist, almost bending backwards to give him full access, and he took her invitation by ridding her of her robe, tossing it to the floor before latching onto one of her pebbled nipples. She cried out as he gently began to lave and suckle at the sensitive peak, and knotted her hands in his hair to hold him there. Her body was in sensory overload, the urgency to have him deep inside her, driving her hands to the button of his black trousers. "A-Angel... D-Do you feel i-it?" Her smoldering eyes met his. "I'm on f-fire... Please... I need you... Please?" He saw the urgent need in her eyes, felt the heat radiating like a furnace from her body into his. Without hesitation he raised his hips, and between the two of them they managed to get his trousers and boxers down enough to set his hard, throbbing shaft free. Within seconds she was impaling herself on him, her moist core stretching and molding around him as his hands came to rest on her hips, holding and guiding her as they began to rock together. "Gods, I've missed you." Angel groaned as they moved together in a rhythm as old as time. "So much, Ionuin. So much..." And then there wasn't anymore words as they both went flying and plunging into sweet oblivion. **** "Are you sure you're..." Buffy pulled Angel's head down for a kiss to smother his question, and when she finally released him they were both short of breath. "Does that answer your question?" She arched, and stretched languidly, and grinned as his eyes darkened in appreciation. "I'm fine. I'm better than fine. That was fucking awesome." Angel chuckled. "Which time?" She giggled. "All four." She smoothed her hands over his slick chest, and leaned in to place a kiss just above his heart. "Mmm... I missed you..." "Buffy..." She pulled away to lay back on the pillows, meeting his serious gaze as she did. "I know." She whispered. "You were afraid you would hurt me or the baby." "Terrified was more like it." He murmured. "There was so many bruises, here..." He trailed his fingers down her arm. "And on your hips. Seeing you like that..." He raised his pained gaze back to hers. "I wanted to kill them for hurting you, and then I got to thinking..." He swallowed against the lump in his throat. "I umm... I got to thinking that if I tiny needle could do that much damage to you what would my touching you do to you. And our making love... The baby... I was so scared." "I know, and I'm sorry." Buffy pulled him down on top of her, and wrapped her arms around him. "And I'm sorry for doubting your feelings for me. For hurting you. I didn't do it intentionally. I had some things going on that kind of blinded me, but with the help of Dr. Covey I saw the light, and I realized that shutting you out was only making things worse between us." "You said that before..." Angel murmured, settling his head on her chest. "That there was things going on with you. What kind of things?" "My raging hormones. Which you've gotten a dose of four times tonight." She combed her fingers through his hair. "Wouldn't you know that I would have to go and be totally different than other pregnant women. Instead of my umm... Instead of my sex drive decreasing, it increased. Went off the Richter scale is more like it. It started about the same time you uhh... Well, let's just say that the last two weeks haven't been very much fun for me, and please don't think I'm saying that to hurt you because I'm not. I just... I thought something was wrong with me." "You're a very passionate woman, Buffy. There's nothing wrong with that." "This is more than just passion we're talking about, Angel. Dr. Covey told me that most pregnant women's sex drive decreases to the point that they don't even want to be touched. Mine on the other hand..." "Yours what?" He pulled away, and propped himself up on one arm to look down at her. She locked eyes with him. "It's like... It's like my whole body hums for you, and I know that sounds stupid, but that's the only way I know how to describe it. And my skin... You felt it. I know you did. Every time we became one tonight it was like..." "We melted into each other..." He finished, and locked eyes with her again. "You did feel it." She whispered. "Oh, yeah. I more than felt it, and I admit it was rather overwhelming... So overwhelming it was actually kind of terrifying." "It's even more terrifying when it's you it's happening to, and your honey all of a sudden gets scared to touch you. God, Angel I actually thought I was going to die from you not touching me." "And you told Dr. Covey that?" Buffy chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. "I-I had to. She just kept pushing and I was so upset..." "Couldn't you have at least rephrased it a little differently when you did?" "N-No. She was fussing at me, Angel." "And why exactly was she fussing at you?" His eyes grew panicked. "Is there something wrong with you or the baby, Buffy? Something you didn't tell me?" "Well, I umm..." She looked away, and he swore under his breath. "God damnit, Buffy..." He sat up. "What is it? What didn't you tell me?" Buffy's eyes welled up with tears. "It's not that bad, Angel. And will you please stop swearing at me?" "I'd stop swearing at you if you'd stop keeping things from me, Buffy. Why didn't you tell me that something was wrong?" "Because there's not. Not the way you think anyway. I just lost a little bit of weight is all." "How much?" He gritted out. "F-Five pounds." She eyed his rigid back. "Sonofa..." "A-Angel, please..." He suddenly turned around on the bed, and nailed her with angry eyes. "I want to know exactly what Dr. Covey said, Buffy. Every word." "Well, I umm... She was a little upset about the weight lose and she tried to get to the bottom of what was causing it, and a-at first I didn't want to tell her the truth... Th-That all this hormone stuff had me stressed out to the point that I didn't have much of a appetite or couldn't sleep for that matter, but she kept pushing and I umm... I was scared that you didn't want me anymore, so I confessed everything to her." "And what did she say?" "She made me see exactly what was going on... With you... Me... Us... And once she did it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Once she convinced me that what we both were going through was normal I promised her that things would be better my next visit, and they will because things are okay with us now." "What about the anemia?" "I still have it, but it's better and she thinks it will be completely gone once I finish my medication. And the baby's fine, I swear. She says everything looks good. She even made me promise to bring you my next visit." "She did?" Angel seemed to relax a little. "Yes. She likes when the expectant father takes an active role in the expectant mother's pregnancy. She believes it's good for the both of them, and she even believes it's good for the baby. But the main reason she asked me to bring you is because she wanted you to be there to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time." "The baby's heartbeat? We're going to get to hear the baby's heartbeat?" "Uh huh. She said they use this thingy called a Doppler to listen to it, and that we would get to hear it." Angel searched her face. "Do you want me to go? To the next visit, I mean?" "Of course, I do, Angel." Buffy sat up, not caring that she was exposing her nudity from the waist up. "What happened today won't happen again, I promise. I want you to go with me." "Are you sure?" "I am. I want you with me all the time. Even when I'm a bitch, and you can't stand me, I hope you'll look past my bitchiness and go with me anyway. I love you, Angel. And I know all this isn't easy for you, and I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I really mean that, and I'm saying it now and I'll probably say it a million times more before all this is over and done with. All I'm asking is that you bear with me because when it's all over and done with and we're holding our baby in our arms it will have been worth every second." "I'm not going anywhere, Buffy. No matter how bitchy you get." He gently pushed her back on the bed, and followed her down, coming down on top of her. "And you know, there are going to be more changes. Changes that will actually be good." His hands came up to cup her breasts. "Take your breasts for example... They're already fuller. Changing so that you can give nourishment to our child." "Y-You want me to b-breast feed?" She gasped, and arched up into his hands as he began to tease her nipples with his fingers. "It's not my choice, baby. It's yours. I was just pointing out the changes your body is going through as you prepare to give our child life." He leaned over to let his mouth replace his hands, and she moaned low in her throat. "I umm... I think you just uhh... wanted an excuse to touch them." "You..." He began to pepper kisses down over her ribcage. "Don't... seem... to... be... complaining." He stopped just below her belly button to place an extra sweet kiss to her still flat stomach. "This will change, too." His hands smoothed along the silkiness there, then he laid his head down, using the softness as his pillow. "Soon you'll grow round with our child, and you'll all but glow from the transformation." "Yeah." She giggled. "I'll glow all right. From sweat because I'm too fat and Wadley to move." He raised his head to look at her. "You may become all fat and Wadley, but to me you'll still be the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth, and I'll still love and want you with everything that's inside me." She threaded her fingers in his hair. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" "Could it be enough to marry me and be mine forever?" He grinned. "Yeah." She smiled at him through her tears. "So I was thinking that maybe we could do it next weekend. What do you think?" "Sounds like a plan to me." He murmured. "But I was wondering..." He climbed back up her body. "About?" She gasped as he came back down on top of her. "What we're going to do with our time between now and then?" I umm... Did you umm... Did you have something in mind? Because I think you have something in mind." "I do." He growled, grinding himself up against her. "Do you want me to show you what it is?" She looped her arms around his neck. "By all means please do." And he did...~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hello Everyone, I'm back. Yes, I know I've been out of the loop for awhile and left you guys hanging but it couldn't be helped. Please forgive me? Well, maybe you will after this chapter if you can't now. Enjoy! P.S. Thanks to everyone for their feedback last chapter. CHAPTER 53
"Thank God, that's over with." Cordelia muttered, plopping down in a kitchen chair beside her fiancee, who couldn't help but laugh at the tired woman beside him. She looked over at him, and have him a dirty look. "And what pray tell do you think is so funny, Doyle Summers?"
"You." Doyle chuckled then took a sip of his beer. "Are you sure you want to do this again?" "Yes, I'm sure. Besides, the next time it will be our own rehearsel dinner." "Yeah, but it's also going to be even bigger than this one. Are you sure you're going to have the strength for it?" "Why, little man? Are you hoping I'll say no and agree to run off to Vegas with you to elope like you want?" "It's not too late." She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. I want a big wedding. Buffy's getting a big wedding." "Buffy's not paying for it." Doyle turned around in his chair to look at the man leaning against the kitchen sink. "Tell her, Angel. Tell her if you had it your way you and munchkin would have eloped." It's okay you can admit it since she's not around to hear you." That got Angel's attention, and he straightened. "If she's doing something she's not supposed to be doing I'll break her neck. " "Hold up. loverboy. She told me she would be right back. She said she had something to get upstairs." "Damnit, I told her no stairs." He muttered and started across the room. "Angel, you need to get a grip." Cordelia's hand shot out to stop him in his tracks. "You two are getting married in less than twenty four hours. She's going to be on her feet all day tomorrow for the wedding and the reception." "Unless of course, you get a wheelchair to push her up the aisle in." Doyle chuckled again. Angel shot Doyle a dirty look. "I just worry about her, Doyle." "Worry about who?" Buffy asked, breezing into the kitchen with a big manilla envelope in her hand. Angel's dark orbs met hers. "I thought I told you no stairs?" "Dr. Covey said I could climb stairs, Angel. Besides, I'm fine. I just needed to go get something real quick." "I don't care what Dr. Covey says, Buffy. I told you not to take any stairs unless there was someone with you, you could fall. Why didn't you ask me to go get whatever it was?" "Because you've already done enough tonight." Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, then took a seat the table across from her brother and Cordelia. "All of you have. But I'm not going to reward you or Doyle. Just Cordy. I think she needs to be rewarded for all her hard work." "Buffy..." Cordelia sat up in her chair. "You don't have to reward me. You're going to be family soon." "Okay then I won't reward you, I'll just give you an early wedding present instead." She handed Cordelia envelope. "What is it?" Buffy shrugged. "Just a little something I thought you might like to have. Open it up and take a look." Cordelia did as Buffy asked and she let out a loud oh my God as her eyes fell on the sheet of paper she pulled out. "B-Buffy..." Her eyes welled up with happy tears as she raised her gaze to her. Buffy smiled. "Do you like it?" Cordelia's eyes returned to the sheet of paper. "I umm... It's umm..." "Eloquent, and fit for a princess?" Buffy asked. "M-More than..." "Is it what you wanted?" Cordelia nodded, too choked up to speak. "I've been working on it since I talked to you on the phone last Friday night. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to give it to you or not. I've been out of the loop for awhile and I wasn't sure it was really good enough." "Not good enough..." Cordelia stared at Buffy in stunned disbelief before letting her gaze travel to the man leaning against the counter. "Have you seen this?" "No." Angel shook his head, and walked over to take a look at the sketch. "It's incredible, don't you think?" Cordelia asked, looking up at Angel. "Very." Angel murmured, locking eyes with the woman across from him. "Angel!" Cordelia slapped his arm. "I was talking about the dress!" "Oh yeah, right. The dress..." Angel tore his eyes away from Buffy, and looked back down at the sketch. "It is incredible, Cordelia. And you'll look incredible in it." "He's right, Delia." Doyle spoke up and said. "I can't wait to see you in it." His eyes moved to his sister. "Thanks, sis." "You're welcome." Buffy smiled. "I couldn't let my future sister-in-law get married without a wedding dress." "And since we're on the subject..." Cordelia stood up. "You two have your own wedding tomorrow, and you both need to get a good night's sleep. Doyle and I should go." She turned around to hug Angel. "I'll see you tomorrow." She then walked over to lean down and hug Buffy. "Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me." Buffy smiled up at her as she pulled away. "Yes, I do. And you're welcome. We'll discuss material when you come back to work next week, okay?" Cordelia nodded. "Okay." Doyle stood up and exchanged a few quiet words with Angel before shaking his hand and moving over to lean down to hug and kiss Buffy. "I'll see you tomorrow, munchkin." "You can count on it." She murmured, hugging and kissing him back. After a few more words, Doyle and Cordelia left to go home, leaving Buffy and Angel alone. Angel walked over and pulled her to her feet. "I love you." Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck. "You'd better, mister. Because after tomorrow you're stuck with me for the rest of your life." "The rest of my life, huh?" Angel wrapped his arms around her waist, and drew her closer. "It's not long enough. Infinity's not long enough." "Stop, you." Buffy pushed at his chest. "Pregnant woman with raging hormones, remember? You'll make me cry." "Oh, no. No more crying. Not now. Not ever." He leaned down to brush a kiss across her lips. "Besides, now isn't the time to go all hormonal on me." "Why?" She eyed him. "Because I have something to give you." "Mmm..." She pressed up against him. "This sounds promising. Very promising." Angel chuckled. "Uh uh, baby. I didn't mean that." He leaned down to kiss her again. "Besides, didn't we make a vow not to do that tonight since it was the night before our wedding night?" She trailed her fingers down his chest. "That was your idea, not mine. Just like staying at my Mom's tonight was your idea, but I changed your mind about that, so I'm guessing I could change your mind about the other thing, too ..." She started unbuttoning his shirt. "No, Buffy." Angel stopped her hands. "I want to do this right, so quit being naughty and help me out." He muttered, and stepped back away from her. She sighed in defeat. "Okay, okay. If you wasn't talking about that being my present, what were you talking about?" "It's an early wedding present." He took her hand, and lead her out of the kitchen, and down the hallway towards his office. "Angel, you didn't have to..." "I know I didn't, Buffy." He opened his office door, and pulled her inside. "I wanted to." Leading her around his desk, he pulled out his desk chair, and sat down, pulling her down in his lap as he did. "Besides, I'm not even sure you'll like it." "What is it?" She asked searching his face. "This..." He leaned forward, and grabbed something of the desk behind her and handed it to her. "Go on, open it." Buffy tore into the gold wrapping paper, and looked up at him in surprise upon seeing the gift inside. "A-Angel, is this..." He smiled. "Yeah, it's my next book." "B-But when did you..." She looked back down at the typed manuscript. He pulled her back against him, and rested his head on top of hers. "I actually got the idea for it the very same weekend we made love for the first time. You said something that just seemed to get my head spinning with ideas, and I couldn't sleep until I had put it down on paper. Do you remember when you woke up that Saturday night, and I wasn't in bed?" She nodded. "And that's what you were doing?" "Yeah, and I probably would have kept on going all night if you hadn't distracted me. That's how excited I was about it. But then you walked in and I got distracted... Not that I'm complaining, mind you, because trust me, I'm not. You will always come first with me. You and our baby. But that night was the start of it. And it was also the start of a new beginning for the *Fang Gang*" "A new beginning?" Buffy tilted her head back to look at him. "Does this mean you're going to continue with the series?" He nodded. "Kinda hard not to when I just introduced a new character. One the fans are bound to love and adore almost as much as I do." "You invented a new character?" "Yes." Angel grinned. "And before you ask me how I can love and adore the character of a book, the answer is easy. She's based on you." "M-Me?" Buffy asked in shock. "W-Why me?" "Because you were the one to give me the idea to start with." "S-So what's she like? Th-This girl... What's her name." "Buffy." Angel smiled again. "And she's everything you are. She is the most incredible strength. She's a slayer. A Vampire Slayer. The chosen one. The one girl in the whole world chosen to rid the world of vampires and other evil. She has expert fighting abilities. Handles a stake like a gun. And she's beautiful just like you." Buffy looked up at him in awe. "I can't believe you got all that from me hitting Spike." "Well, I did." He brushed his lips across hers. "I got all that and much much more. But I'm not going to tell you anything else as far as the story goes. I don't want to give the plot away. I want you to read it. In fact, I think maybe you should read the dedication I put in it now. It's on the first page." "D-Dedication?" Buffy fingered the manuscript. "Uh huh." He whispered softly against her ear. "Read it." Buffy opened the manuscript to the first page, and her eyes welled up with tears as she read the words out loud: TO THE SLAYER OF MY HEART,~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPTER 54
Words couldn't describe how beautiful she had been walking down the aisle to him on the arms of her step-father. She had more than knocked his socks off, she had taken his breath away, and he had been so in awe of his goddess that he hadn't been able to move to take her hand in his when she had reached him. If it hadn't been for Doyle patting him on the back he would probably still be standing there drinking her in.
Their entire wedding had been perfect. The ceremony had went off without a hitch, and had brought both him and his bride to tears as well as the congregation. At one point Angel could have sworn that he had even seen his brother crying, but Mr. Joe Cool denied it later on even though his red rimmed eyes had told a different story.
The reception had also been a success. Although Angel had been a little upset that he hadn't been able to spend as much time with his new bride as he had hoped. By the time the photgrapher had taken way too many pictures, and he had watched her be passed around to every Tom, Dick, and Harry for well wishes, he'd had enough and he could tell by the tired smile on her face that she had to. After quickly cutting the cake, and doing the traditonal throwing of the bouqet and garter he had finally managed to whisk her away in the limo and their house where he had helped her undress, then taken her to bed to make slow, tender love to her before they had both fell into and exhausted yet happy slumber. And now here he was several hours later, laying on his side watching her sleep. His wife...
His wife... The words rolled so naturally of his tongue and he loved the sound of them. Buffy was his wife, and God he couldn't be any happier than he was at this very moment as he lay there watching her. She was sleeping on her side facing him with a contented smile on her face, and he used the opportunity to let his gaze travel over her in deep satisfaction, memorizing every inch of her all over again and branding her image into his brain. But soon just looking at her wasn't enough, and he couldn't help but reach out to caress the silkiness of her face, smiling as her own smile deepened even more at his touch. "Are you playing possum with me Mrs. O'Conner?"
"Mrs. O'Conner... Mmm..." She opened her sleepy eyes to look at him. "I like the sound of that. Say it again."
"Mrs. Angelus Liam O'Conner..." He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "Mrs. Buffy Summers O'Conner." He leaned into feather a kiss across her lips. "Mrs. Angel O'Conner or Buffy O'Conner. Which do you like best?" He rested his forehead against hers.
"All of them. I like all of them. I think I'll alternate and use a different one everyday." Buffy smiled.
"I don't care which version you use as long as you use one of them." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I want the whole world to know you belong to me."
"I don't think you're going to have a problem with that after tonight, honey." She murmured, snuggling up against him, and tucking her head in her favorite spot up under his chin.
"Are you mad at me about that, baby?"
"Nope."
"That's good because the only reason I did it was to protect you. By giving a press release and picture of the wedding to the press it'll cut back on their snooping."
"You don't have to explain to me, Angel. I know why you did it. Now let's change the subject before you go all broody on me. I refuse to let you brood on our honeymooon."
"Okay, no brooding." He kissed the crown of her head. "How about we talk about the wedding? Did I tell you how beautiful you looked today?"
"Uh huh. Only like a million times. So I take it you liked the dress?"
"Loved. I loved the dress. And I also loved who was in it... What she was wearing under it..." He pulled away to look at her. "Shall I continue?"
"You could." She ran her fingers down his chest. "But I was thinking that maybe instead of you using your mouth to talk you could use it to do something else."
He hardened instantly. "Just my mouth?" His dark orbs connected with hers.
"Well, no. Umm... Hands would be nice, too." Her own hands chose that moment to disappear under the blankets of the bed, coming to rest on his hard shaft. "Mouth, hands, and umm..." She began to slowly stroke him. "Other umm... strategic parts."
"Jesus, baby..." Angel groaned.
"I think you're getting the picture now." She grinned deviliously, and increased her rhythm. "Are you getting the picture now?"
"You uhh..." He groaned again, and thrust up into her hands. "Y-You know I uhh... am." He reached out to grip her shoulders. "Buffy... Baby, if you uhh... If you don't stop I'm going to fall to uhh... pieces.
"Oh no, honey. You can't fall to pieces on me." She leaned in to kiss him. "I need your pieces. You need them."
"For uhh... For what?" He closed his eyes as she increased her pace around him even more.
"I'll tell you what. Why don't I show you why we need yours, and then when I get finished you can return the favor and show me why we need mine." She grasped him hard, and gave him several long strokes. "Do we have a deal?"
"What do you uhh..." He growled, his passion-filled eyes flying open to meet hers. "What do you think?"
"I think we have a deal." She leaned over to kiss him urgently. "Now hold onto your hat, mister. It's showtime." And then her head and body disappeared under the covers, and the only sound that could be heard after that was the sweet murmurings of two lovers...
****
Buffy raised her eyes from Angel's manuscript to find him watching her with his chocolate pools. "Aren't you supposed to be reading, too?"
"Can't..." He smiled, and rubbed his feet against hers. "I can't concentrate when you're this close."
"This close?" She frowned. "Angel, the only thing that's touching is our feet. Close is what I wanted earlier, and you said no to, remember?"
"I said no because you needed a break, Buffy." He murmured huskily. "I don't want you getting tired of me."
"Trust me, honey. That will never happen." She toed her foot up into the leg of his sweatpants, caressing it up and down his leg. "Especially right now. Pregnant woman with a sex drive that's in hyperspace, remember?"
"Exactly. You're pregnant. That's another reason you need to rest." He laid his book on the back of the couch, and sat up to pull her foot out of the leg of his sweatpants, massaging it as he did. "Now rest."
"But we're on our honeymoon." She pouted.
He wouldn't look up because he knew if he did he would lose the battle. "If I have it my way we'll be on our honeymoon forever, baby so there's nothing wrong with taking a break every now and then."
"Yeah, but I'm not going to live forever, Angel."
He stopped, and his head shot up, his pained eyes meeting hers. "Don't say that..."
Buffy frowned. "Angel, honey..."
"No, Buffy..." He returned his gaze and his hands to her foot. "I'm not going to discuss that with you. Everything's going to be okay. It has to be..."
"Angel..." Buffy's eyes pooled.
"Please, Buffy? Don't. I can't..." He swallowed against the lump in his throat, and continued to massage her foot. "The uhh... The book. Tell me how you like the book so far?"
She relaxed under his ministrations, and laid her head back down on the arm of the sofa. "I like it. But I liked the others, too."
He looked up again. "You read my other books?"
"Uh huh."
"When?"
"After we got back together. During the week when I wasn't with you. I had alot of time on my hands. Too much. That's why I read all of them twice."
"Wow, I uhh... I don't know what to..." He broke into a smile. "I love you."
"I know." She returned his smile. "I love you, too."
"So you liked them?" He returned to massaging her foot.
"Mmm..."
"And this one?" He switched his ministrations to her other foot. "Don't be my wife. Tell me what you really think of it so far."
"I haven't gotten far enough to give it an overall rating yet, Angel."
Angel chuckled. "I guess I should forget the wife part. I have a funny feeling you're going to be my best and worst critic."
"And that's bad how? We did make a deal not to keep secrets from each other anymore, didn't we?"
"Yes, we did." He brought her foot up to kiss her big toe, then continued his kneading. "So how far have you got?"
"Angel and Buffy have already met. I think she's in love with him." Buffy raised her head to look at him. "Is she?"
"Maybe. What about him? Do you think he's in love with her?"
She eyed the top of his head. "It's hard to say. He's in and out of her life so fast it's hard to tell, so why don't you just go ahead and tell me."
"Not a chance." He looked up and grinned. "I told you, Mrs. O'Conner. I'm not going to give any of the story away to you. You have to read it yourself. All of it. No skipping pages to find out."
"I don't skip pages." She denied. "Well, I don't unless it's a smutty book..." She searched his face. "Is there smut in this one?"
He shook his head. "I told you I'm not giving any of the book away to you, baby. I don't want you skipping over important parts looking for smut."
"And why exactly would I want to do that when I have my very own live Angel right in front of me? The smutty stuff is much better when it's real live action instead of words in the pages of a book. But if you don't believe me I could show you."
"No, Buffy." He tore his gaze away from her and went back to massaging her feet again, doing his best not to let her see just how much her words had affected him.
"Why not?"
"Because you need to rest."
"Must I remind you, lover that I rest much much better after we make love?" Her free foot found it's way to the crotch of his sweatpants. "And if memory serves me correctly so do you." She could feel him already hardening under her toes, and decided to slide into home plate. "Do you remember last night? What it felt like when my mouth closed over you, and I..."
"Buffy..."
"Yes, honey?" She asked innocently.
He raised his mahogany gaze to hers. "Do you think you could do it again?"
"Which part?" She giggled.
"All of it." He murmured huskily, dropping her foot.
"It depends." She quickly sobered.
"On what?"
"On whether you'll do me first this time."
"I don't see where that would be a problem." He answered, crawling up her body. "I promised you that I would do my damndest to make you happy, and I intend to keep that promise...."
****
"See..." Buffy murmured alittle while later. "I told you I always rest better after we make love." She laid her head down on Angel's chest.
Angel reached down to pull the bed covers up over them. "Just after we make love?"
"No." She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. "I can't sleep at all unless you're near me."
"I have the same problem." Angel wrapped his arms around her, and closed his eyes. "After we got back together I never slept during the week, but on the weekends when I could have you in my arms all was right with the world and I could close my eyes because I was complete."
"And are you complete now?"
"More than?"
"And are you sleepy?"
"Hmm... I am. You?"
"Very."
"And our daughter? Is our daughter sleepy, too?"
"Uh huh." Buffy answered in a very sleepy voice.
Her answer to his question made Angel smile in satisfaction, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that she was so tired she hadn't realized what he had asked her. "What?" She raised up to look at him through heavy eyes.
"Nothing." He quickly sobered, and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Now go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
She laid her head back down on the soft pillow of his chest. "Always?"
"No. Forever." He murmured against her hair as sleep began to overtake both of them. "That's the whole point, remember?"
THE END previous part